Less Ego Better WT
"Train WITH your partner, not AGAINST your partner." Wise words from Sifu Asad Mir that have stuck with me as I continue along the path of WingTsun™ Kung Fu. As we train, we find that our hurried lifestyles have not only made our bodies stiff and rigid, but that this age of mega-stars and mega-egos has had a significant impact on how we interact with others, both in and out of the kwoon. Modern society has "more convenience but less time, taller buildings but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints" (George Carlin). Our level of patience with others has gone down while our level of competitiveness has gone up - not a particularly healthy formula for those of us that have made a commitment to learning a scientific system of self-defence that demands large doses of humility and open-mindedness.
“The martial arts are ultimately self-knowledge. A punch or a kick is not to knock the hell out of the guy in front, but to knock the hell out of your ego, your fear, or your hang-ups.”
- Bruce Lee
This lack of patience arises from our ego and can contribute to a difficult learning experience. What does patience have to do with ego? Well, let’s start with a definition. It will by no means be an all-encompassing definition, given that to truly understand and control ego is a lifelong experience, but we need to start somewhere. Ego is a sense of destructive pride that arises out of attachment to a characteristic or ability that differentiates or puts you on a real (or perceived) level of superiority in relation to other people.
"But what if I am superior to others in some areas of my life? Everyone has strengths. Is it wrong to be better than someone else or perhaps even gifted in some things?" The simple answer is: of course not. It is natural for different people to develop at a faster pace in some activities, while others have difficulty. This is an obvious truth. Some people are better at arithmetic, some are more accomplished athletes, some have a gift for communicating and, in WT terms, some seem born soft, some naturally have more power in their punches, some have a better sense of balance and so on. This in itself is not a bad thing. It just means that we all have things that come easy to us and on the flip side of the coin, things that we have to work harder on. Ego takes hold when we become attached to our strengths and allow a sense of destructive pride to emerge. It is fine to be proud of what you have trained hard for; however, a line exists that we all sometimes cross, where that sense of accomplishment turns into a feeling of superiority.
A typical example of how this can be a detriment to your progression in WingTsun™: during a training session with a partner of a lower level, you notice they have made the same mistake a few times over, and thus it has been a fairly easy feat for you to penetrate and strike. You make a choice (consciously or subconsciously) to keep this to yourself and continue to exploit the opening. You start to feel good in the knowledge that your forward pressure/balance/footwork, whatever the case may be, is better than this person’s and you feel superior. This carries over to your next training session, this time with a new partner. Perhaps this new partner is at a similar student grade and does not make the same mistakes that the previous partner did. As you begin the exercise, you start to become angry that your ’higher’ level of skill that existed before is now ineffective. You spend the class frustrated and, instead of being relaxed and flowing as you train, your frustration builds, making you stiff and uptight. At the end of the class you feel more stressed than when you started and, compounding the problem, you are determined at the next opportunity to bring your superior skills to bear. The next class you are paired up with the less advanced student and (mentally!) lick your lips at the chance to exploit this person to restore the feeling of superiority you had not so long ago. You are now training AGAINST your partner, not WITH them.
The reverse of this scenario, a case without ego, would be when, as the lower level student makes the mistake, you exploit it a few times and then explain to them where they are going wrong. This way your partner has the chance to improve, and it has the side benefit of making your own WingTsun™ better, since you now have to deal with an improved ’opponent’. In an egoless scenario, everyone wins. You would be amazed at how much better you become as you point out the mistakes of others because, to do so effectively, you must be able to communicate the point with clarity. Hence, you need to think more thoroughly about the movement/concept than you may have had to before.
The dangerous thing about ego is that it is not often as obvious as in the case above. Ego takes many forms and often, these forms are subtle. Let us look at a second example: you are in class trying to master a certain attacking movement with a partner that has assumed the role of defender. As you move in with your attack, the defender completes the cycle and defends as the instructor has shown. Here is where your ego can take hold. Perhaps you know the next step in the cycle and you attack again, thus forcing the defender to come up with another defence. As this drill continues the poor defender starts to overcompensate as they are concentrating on the fact that a second attack is coming and are now not focused on the real point of the drill, the first defensive reaction. You may have the satisfaction of hitting them with a second attack; however, you have taken their concentration away from the task at hand, all because you felt a fleeting moment of superiority and pride in your advanced skill level because they did not know how to deal with your second attack.
To be clear, there is nothing wrong with throwing in an advanced technique that your partner cannot counter to practice what you have learned - just keep it in perspective. For example, doing so ten times in a row is not conducive to your partners learning experience - or yours!
We have all been, at one time or another, victims of ego. Don’t fret; we all make mistakes. It is part of the life-long learning experience. Remember when I mentioned that ego often arises from a lack of patience? Well, that means patience not just with others but also patience with yourself. WingTsun™ Kung Fu is a demanding system both physically and mentally so it will be natural for everyone to lose that patience every now and then. The last time I checked, we’re all human, right? Always remember to forgive yourself if you give in. No matter how much your ego tells you so, you’re not perfect! The key is to focus on continual improvement and to learn how to become aware of ego when it rears its ugly head. The only enemies we can fight are those we are aware of. Hence, when you can recognize ego for what it really is, it will vanish in a cloud of newfound perspective. Like a cockroach in the darkness, ego will run for the nearest crack in the wall the moment you shine a spotlight on it!
Personally, I have found that the best way to counter ego is to do so BEFORE it arises. Remember the Taoist maxim, "Prepare for the difficult while it is still easy, deal with the big while it is still small." To subdue ego early, I have made a practice of always reminding myself of my true motivation for learning WingTsun™, to ensure that if I ever encounter a violent attacker and all roads to de-escalate are closed, I come out of the confrontation with my life. It is that simple. Sure, there are many side benefits to WT in terms of health, meeting new people and so on but, coming out of a scrape with our hides intact is the bottom line reason why many study WingTsun™.
Think about it this way, if you don’t train WITH your partners and instead let ego take over and train AGAINST them, YOU are responsible for their ability to react in the streets to an attack. If you could correct them but choose not to, that could make the difference between their life and death. If you could have let them properly learn the defensive movement, as in the case above, and you didn’t, because your ego couldn’t stand to let go of that feeling of dominance and let your partners train properly, one of them could end up lying in the critical-condition ward. Puts ego into perspective, doesn’t it? Remember, everyone has their strengths AND weaknesses. Even though you may be better than some of your training partners, there are always those out there that are better than you.
Keep a humble attitude and your ego will stay at bay. When training with your partners, be patient with them and in turn, you will find others will show you the same courtesy.
Knowing the credo "surpassing the deeds of others is unimportant, to surpass your own is" will lead you to victory against your ego more often than not. Avoid making the comparisons of how good you are in relation to others, always strive to beat yourself and you will notice humility and progression will be your companions because, in the majority of cases, "proving one’s superiority at the cost of somebody else is proof of both inferiority and ignorance."